Family & Divorce Mediation in Asheville

What is Mediation?

Mediation is a private process with the goal of resolving disputes. A mediator is a neutral third party who facilitates discussion of the issues at hand and helps the parties to generate solutions with the goal of reaching a mutually acceptable agreement.

A mediator does not “decide” cases, but rather, the parties themselves agree on a solution.

Mediation is an effective way to find solutions. A frequently shared statistic about mediator effectiveness is that private mediators are successful in settling 85% of cases. The source for this statistic is the Dallas Mediators Project, in which 818 of the 981 cases studied settled successfully with mediation. (1)

You might choose mediation in the interest of time.

Even the most brief litigation processes are vastly time consuming. Think: double-booked court dates, long discovery periods, continuances, the schedules of all parties involved (lawyers, parties, judges), the availability of witnesses, and general trial preparation. The road to and through litigation is long.

You might choose mediation in the interest of money.

Mediation is almost always more affordable than litigation. Mediations with Compass Mediation + Consulting are billed in quarterly hour increments at the rate of $175 per hour. The time required for a mediation can vary widely, depending on your needs and goals for the process. A typical mediation covering most aspects of separation and shared parenting (covering schedules, expenses, and other agreements about the future) might take anywhere from 1-3 sessions of 3-4 hours per session.

You might choose mediation to protect a reputation.

Court is public. Mediation is confidential. Businesses and individuals involved in litigation invariably become exposed in the litigation process. Investigators are trained to scour court proceedings for “dirt” for a reason: public records can be very revealing, and they have an incredibly long shelf-life.

Mediation, meanwhile, is more like a closed loop. Information revealed in a court-annexed mediation, in almost every circumstance, cannot be used as evidence later in a court proceeding. The rules governing Mediator confidentiality are strict, providing the best possibility for a private resolution. Mediators who are certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission have committed to uphold the highest level of confidentiality and protect the privacy of those involved in all settings in which they work.

The Mediation Process: What to Expect

The community mediation process typically involves preliminary one-on-one conversations between the mediator and the individual parties in dispute. These conversations (via phone or Zoom) will help to make a determination of whose presence is required at the mediation, attend to scheduling concerns, cover an estimate of fees, and create a general framework for what issues will be mediated, and discern what the privacy expectations are for those involved. This consultation also gives participants the chance to ask the mediator any questions they may have about the process.

We will meet online or in person, and the mediation will open with an overview of the agenda, explanation of the role of the mediator, and a review of our shared expectations and agreements around the privacy of our discussions. Any questions about the process will be fielded at this point, and throughout the mediation as concerns arise. An agreement regarding the confidentiality of the session is signed by all participants. At that point, the participants have the opportunity to make opening statements.

Sometimes the participants remain together in the same room for the duration of the mediation, and at other times, the mediator may move participants into separate spaces in order to facilitate one-on-one discussions. During those separate sessions, participants can privately share information with the mediator that they may not wish to share with the group in main session. The mediator is bound to the confidentiality requested by individual parties, and also by the prior group agreement pertaining to the confidentiality of the mediation process.

Sessions can be scheduled in 2-4 hour blocks, depending on the issues at hand. We will typically memorialize any agreements in writing. Agreements made in community mediation (that is, any voluntary mediation not mandated by the court) are not legally binding.

Often, those in custody disputes or asset distribution mediations will take their agreement from mediation to their individual attorneys to develop final agreements that can become a more formal part of their divorce or custody process. Even if your mediator is an attorney and helps you to generate an agreement at the end of your mediation session, that attorney-mediator will not be the individual to develop a legally binding agreement for you that is entered into your legal process.

A mediator is professionally bound to the confidentiality of the process and is committed to preserving their neutrality within a given mediation or negotiation, in order to foster the best environment possible for the parties to reach an agreement.

For Families: Private resolutions for private lives.

When you bring your divorce or separation to court, you hand off the agenda.

When you bring your divorce or separation to mediation, we create the agenda together, making progress in privacy and at your own pace.

Families have so much to lose when they battle in public.

Cost, time drag, and lack of privacy are some of the main reasons that many families choose to reorganize in the private setting of mediation. Couples seeking divorce can preserve their own interests and assets in mediation, out of view from the public eye. Rather than having a judge simply make decisions and allocate, mediation engages both parties in the issues of separation that you most need to address, including assets and debts, parenting time and schedules, and future plans.

Family mediations can be conducted with or without attorneys present, and can encompass many factors that might not be addressed in the court process. For instance, families reorganizing in mediation can make proactive choices about specific considerations, including dating, introduction of new partners to the children, managing pets, and exceptions to the schedules for holidays or special events.

Not all mediators are the same. There are different venues and certification levels for mediation, and the nature of your dispute may require a certain kind of mediator. North Carolina doesn’t have any statewide certification process for general/ community mediators, but does have requirements for court-ordered mediation.

I am certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission to mediate disputes within their Superior Court Mediated Settlement Conference Program, but I am not certified as a Family Financial Mediator by the NCDRC (meaning I cannot accept direct court appointments for family disputes). I have completed trainings independent of and unrelated to my court-annexed work, which focused on family and divorce mediation, and optimizing co-parenting relationships. I am also a certified Co-Parenting Specialist.

I completed family and divorce mediation training under Susan Guthrie and Forrest “Woody” Mosten, two pillars in the world of family mediation.

I am a member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators.

I am a Certified Co-Parenting Specialist, having completed additional training to use mediation to optimize co-parenting relationships with attention to the specific (and evolving!) needs and interests of children in various stages of development.

1. Numbers from the Dallas Mediation Project. Statistics on Mediation in the 101st District Court as of June 12, 1992 as condensed in Court Annexed Mediation (1993, State Bar of Texas MCLE). Total number of cases mediated 981, total settled 818 (83%), settlement rate through private mediators, 85%.